Chemo Treatment #6: Mile 13.1!

Forgive the racing metaphor in my Blog title. It’s really all I’ve got. Here I am, halfway through the 2012 Hodgkin’s Marathon. I really wish they’d work to get better sponsors for this thing. Forgive my tardiness on this session’s Blog. It’s important that you know that I’m typing this in Kauai (yes, that’s a Hawaiian Island), so I really couldn’t be bothered to waste much of my time putting the finishing touches on this particular Blog (haha). I’ll write more about this trip in a future Blog, but as a result of a more than generous offering from our friends Gary and Sandie, we’re spending a week in the most awesome beachfront home that you could imagine. Even better, we get to spend that time with great friends. I can’t imagine a more healing place to be.

Given the above mentioned circumstances, instead of my promised story about backpacking in Arkansas, I’ll just give you a quick update on my current condition. Per the usual, my fingers and toes are tingling and pretty numb. As I’ve said, having frost bitten them in the past is contributing to this, but it’s also given me some perspective on dealing with it. After all, if you can tie yourself into a climbing harness with frozen fingers, putting a 2-year old into a car seat isn't all that bad. Also, I have noticed something pretty strange regarding my facial hair…….especially my nose hairs. Everything is thinning out. It just makes sense, given the cumulative effects of chemo, but what’s up with that? For the most part, my facial hair is sort of hanging around, but seriously, my nose hairs are disappearing at an alarming rate. I’ve always been pretty particular about maintaining my nose hairs, and it’s sort of nice not to have to worry about them anymore. And, for the record, if you’re a dude and you're over 25 and you aren’t trimming your nose hairs you’d better get on that. Don’t bother asking somebody if you need to trim them. Yes, they’re ugly and you need to deal with them. Nobody wants to see your nose goblins waving in the breeze. Of all the parts of your body that you would prefer NOT to draw attention to, your nose is one of them. Tighten it up, fellas. I finally seem to have gotten a handle (love handle, that is) on managing my weight gain. Sort of. I’ve leveled out, and have just learned to deal with being a bit on the chubby side for now. After all, you can only endure so much, and a card carrying dope smoker (seriously, they actually carry cards now) with the munches has got nothin’ on a guy going through Chemo. I am staying pretty active on my “off” weeks, but the 7-day stretch of doing nothing but watching re-runs of Two and a Half Men and Tosh.0 is killing me. Speaking of which, is it wrong that I opted to skip out of watching the State of the Union Address so that I could catch tosh.0? Seems wrong to me, but I just couldn’t force myself to be grown up enough to care. A cool thing about gaining weight is that even though I’m about as tough as an 80 year old asthmatic, being tall and in the neighborhood of 230 pounds apparently prompts folks to give me a little extra distance when I’m in public. Of course, it could just be my bald head and the “I might vomit on your shoes” look I’m giving them. Either way, I’m looking forward to melting off the weight when this is all said and done. As for my new love handles, I’ve decided to name them since apparently they’re going to be around for a while. Everyone, meet “Burrito Supreme” (my right side) and "Nachos BellGrande" (my left side). It would really suck to be short right now. I’m sure I’d look just like a fire hydrant. In reality,unless you were to directly compare my current “girth” with a picture of me in my Ironman garb (aren’t you glad you missed me in my Speedo?) you might have trouble seeing a difference. Rest assured, these extra pounds will be hidden in quiet protest under my XL Nike Sweatshirt and my “fat” pants. I knew I held on to those for a good reason.

I was watching a show the other night where a guy with Parkinson’s made the statement that nobody should feel bad for him being stricken with that horrible disease. After all, he had it coming. I could certainly relate. I had this coming, for sure. Every day that I deal with the negative effects of the Chemo, I remind myself that my life is great, and I’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve such a great ride (remember, I’m typing this with a view of the beach in Kauai). I feel sad for Kacy having to deal with all of this. Especially now that we know that I’m not really dying. The other night I noticed that she quietly put that 2012 Mercedes brochure in the trash with a defeated “sigh”. Sorry babe, no life insurance this year. I guess they won’t be naming a highway after me any time soon. Kacy, you’re a trooper, and never give up on me cuz’ I’m as resilient as a cockroach. You’re stuck with me.

One final note…what a good Super Bowl! I heard a bit of trivia the other day that I just had to pass on. I haven’t checked these “factoids”, but if this is really true…..shame on us! Did you know that around the world we’re spending 10.8 Billion dollars on the beer we’re drinking during the super bowl? In addition to that, we're using 2 Billion gallons of water to flush all of that down the toilet when we’re “done” with it. Wow. Whose job is it to put this information together? What would you call that job? Senior Guilt Analyst? Enjoy your day. Live it up, and drink plenty. Among other things, this jaunt to Kauai has taught me a couple of things. First, you’re never too sick to take a 12-hour plane ride with 2 kids in tow as long as you’ve got a Rock Star wife that’s on her game. Second, don’t ever be so foolish as to let your selfish pride prevent you from taking a good friend up on a great offer. People love you, so let them in!

Chemo treatment #6
February 1, 2012