Monday, October 11, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Ring
On Sunday, we returned from our family vacation. I had taken my wedding ring off while in the Bahamas for the first time in 10 years (other than a couple of cleanings) for scuba diving. I placed them in my makeup bag and did not remember to put them back on my finger until Tuesday of this week. When I went to my makeup bag to retrieve them, the bag was unzipped and I could only find my band. The engagement ring was gone. My disbelief quickly turned into panic...panic into tears. Ben found me crumpled on the bathroom floor.
The TSA had inspected our bags and my feeling was that they unzipped my makeup bag to inspect it and unknowingly, the ring fell out. Ben asked if I had looked in the suitcases but I had already cleaned them out...even vacuumed them because we brought back some sand. I knew that I would have seen it then if it was there. And at that point, I was so emo that I couldn't bring myself to look through my suitcases and feel the disappointment all over again.
I posted on facebook that I had lost my ring and my Aunt Maurita said, "The Lord knows where it is ask Him". I was stunned because it had not even occurred to me to go to Him with my concern. I was embarrassed and immediately asked Him for forgiveness and asked Him to help me find it. I realized right then that I have been very good about going to God for the big stuff in my life....diligently asking for direction concerning life decisions, praising Him for the many blessings that He has bestowed upon me, praying for healing, peace, comfort, safety. I rarely seek Him in prayer over "little" things like this. After all, isn't it silly to ask the God of the Universe for help in finding a THING? But, this THING is quite possibly the one thing that I am most sentimental about in this life. It is the thing that was carefully and lovingly chosen by my love just for me. It was placed on my finger the moment that my boyfriend asked me to be his wife...and again on the day that I stood before my loved ones and God and pledged to love him forever. So, in that moment - I prayed and asked God for help...and if it was forever gone, to give me peace about it.
I woke up the next morning feeling MUCH better. I was still very disappointed but I wasn't emo and was already starting to part ways with the ring in my head. Having lost my little brother 4 years ago, I have already learned the hard lesson that things aren't all that important in life...people, relationships, experiences, memories...are priceless. Ben had called mid-morning and I had commented about how much better I was feeling. That afternoon, I went downstairs to change out the laundry and saw the suitcases so I decided to pull them out and look. I knew it was futile but I had to at least SAY that I looked. I looked through the first suitcase, slipping my fingers behind any seam that fingers could get behind and it wasn't there. I knew it. Checked the second suitcase...nothing there. As I was starting to zip it back up, I stuck my finger down one last seam and felt something. I started to pull it out and saw the silver color that I knew so well. I felt like my eyes were playing a sick joke on me for a split second and then it was there...in my hand...back on my finger. All I could do is cry and say, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you". I immediately knew that this exercise was God lovingly trying to communicate with his daughter. I thought, "I get it." I feel like He was trying to communicate to me that I could go to Him with ANYthing...and EVERYthing. Not just the big stuff. Even the small stuff.
It's ironic that this all came full circle on the eve of the 4th anniversary of Sam's passing. Earlier that day, I had thought about how my week couldn't get any worse... Rest assured...having found my ring did not make today any easier. I got to thinking about how I had lost something very precious to me -my ring-and how I was so joyful, happy, emotional, grateful when I found it. I wonder...how amazing it will be when I see my Sammy for the first time again...after so many years of him being lost from my life. The thought of the reunion brings tears to my eyes. I echo my wise sister's comment, that I know how to grieve with hope. THANK the King of Glory for that.
Sammy, I love you little brother. Miss you every day.
The TSA had inspected our bags and my feeling was that they unzipped my makeup bag to inspect it and unknowingly, the ring fell out. Ben asked if I had looked in the suitcases but I had already cleaned them out...even vacuumed them because we brought back some sand. I knew that I would have seen it then if it was there. And at that point, I was so emo that I couldn't bring myself to look through my suitcases and feel the disappointment all over again.
I posted on facebook that I had lost my ring and my Aunt Maurita said, "The Lord knows where it is ask Him". I was stunned because it had not even occurred to me to go to Him with my concern. I was embarrassed and immediately asked Him for forgiveness and asked Him to help me find it. I realized right then that I have been very good about going to God for the big stuff in my life....diligently asking for direction concerning life decisions, praising Him for the many blessings that He has bestowed upon me, praying for healing, peace, comfort, safety. I rarely seek Him in prayer over "little" things like this. After all, isn't it silly to ask the God of the Universe for help in finding a THING? But, this THING is quite possibly the one thing that I am most sentimental about in this life. It is the thing that was carefully and lovingly chosen by my love just for me. It was placed on my finger the moment that my boyfriend asked me to be his wife...and again on the day that I stood before my loved ones and God and pledged to love him forever. So, in that moment - I prayed and asked God for help...and if it was forever gone, to give me peace about it.
I woke up the next morning feeling MUCH better. I was still very disappointed but I wasn't emo and was already starting to part ways with the ring in my head. Having lost my little brother 4 years ago, I have already learned the hard lesson that things aren't all that important in life...people, relationships, experiences, memories...are priceless. Ben had called mid-morning and I had commented about how much better I was feeling. That afternoon, I went downstairs to change out the laundry and saw the suitcases so I decided to pull them out and look. I knew it was futile but I had to at least SAY that I looked. I looked through the first suitcase, slipping my fingers behind any seam that fingers could get behind and it wasn't there. I knew it. Checked the second suitcase...nothing there. As I was starting to zip it back up, I stuck my finger down one last seam and felt something. I started to pull it out and saw the silver color that I knew so well. I felt like my eyes were playing a sick joke on me for a split second and then it was there...in my hand...back on my finger. All I could do is cry and say, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you". I immediately knew that this exercise was God lovingly trying to communicate with his daughter. I thought, "I get it." I feel like He was trying to communicate to me that I could go to Him with ANYthing...and EVERYthing. Not just the big stuff. Even the small stuff.
It's ironic that this all came full circle on the eve of the 4th anniversary of Sam's passing. Earlier that day, I had thought about how my week couldn't get any worse... Rest assured...having found my ring did not make today any easier. I got to thinking about how I had lost something very precious to me -my ring-and how I was so joyful, happy, emotional, grateful when I found it. I wonder...how amazing it will be when I see my Sammy for the first time again...after so many years of him being lost from my life. The thought of the reunion brings tears to my eyes. I echo my wise sister's comment, that I know how to grieve with hope. THANK the King of Glory for that.
Sammy, I love you little brother. Miss you every day.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Have Baby, Will Travel!
Pulled out the suitcases to start packing for our trip to Florida and the Bahamas in a week and Linkan crawled in to see what she could play with. It's a clear indication that she is just as excited as we are for a vacation!
9 Months Young!
I'm a little behind! Linkan turned 9 months last Tuesday (8/17/2010). It snuck up on me and I didn't realize it until the day of. Ben and I really can't believe it. It's amazing to think that, at this point, she has been on the "outside" longer than she has been on the "inside". :)
At her 9 month appointment last week, she was:
28.25 inches long (75%)
18 lb. 2 oz (36%)
What she is up to:
Crawling at the speed of sound
Pulling herself up on anything that she can
Crawling up the steps
Walking with a little balance help from mom and dad
Walking by herself while holding onto a walker (think - granny walker)
Loves to climb up the sides of our hot tub
Loves the community pool and our hot tub
Wears sun hats, sunglasses and headbands without protest (much to the delight of her mama!)
Loves to run errands
Lots of babbling - da da, ba ba, boo boo, etc
Loves to turn the pages in her books
What she eats the most:
Still nursing 4x day
Hummus
Avocado
Yo baby yogurt
Plums
Peaches
Apricots
Cheerios
Freeze dried fruit
She's a pretty amazing little girl. We marvel at her every day. :) Here are some pics that I took on her 9 month old birthday....or whatever you want to call that.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
DaDa!
We discovered this week that Linkan can say things on cue. How fun is that!? Here is a vid of Linkan repeating "dada" and a couple other fun sounds. haha - I'm sure we will regret encouraging those sounds at some point in the near future. :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
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