For a
few years, I've (Kacy) been the sole author of the Postlethwait Family
Blog. That changed today with Ben's inaugural blog below. Do us a favor and click on the link to "follow" our blog. It's nice to know who gives a crap, ya know? :) From here on out, Ben will be listed as the "author" of his own posts. ...And if you are reading this via Facebook, leave a comment on our blog page - instead of Facebook - so that Ben can actually read it...since he thinks he's too cool for Facebook. ;)
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Well, here we are. I
thought it would be good to document some of this stuff to go back and look
over later in life when I’m sitting on a boat somewhere in the Caribbean with some good friends and a big mug of Grog in
my hand. If you don’t know what Grog is,
first shame on you, secondly don’t Google it because it will send you down an
interestingly strange wormhole of internet stupidity.
I want to give you a highlight of what to really expect out
of this blog. For the most part, I’d say
I’m pretty much just shy of the PG-13 ballpark.
Since my kids are young, and I’m a total deviant, I haven’t paid
attention to that stupid movie rating system in decades. What’s a step below PG-13 these days? If kids can listen to Justin Bieber, I think
they can handle my blog. That little
freak has some issues. I digress….there
won’t be any cursing. Those of you who
know me best will know exactly which expletive to insert at any given
time. Feel free to do so. The closest I’ll get to talking about
swimsuit areas and the like (for those of you who don’t get it, that’s private
parts and Sex) will be to talk about the interesting color of my pee (urine
sounds so formal) after Chemo, and maybe a mention of some fun naked jokes if I
lose weight and all my hair falls out.
In reality, my first treatment was pretty uneventful. For any of you who have any experience with
Chemo I’m sure you’re thinking, “just wait a few days until the real excitement
begins tough guy”. And that’s okay, but
remember that its Christmas time and Santa hears your negative thoughts and is
keeping track. I mostly just sat there
and talked with Kacy, read magazines, and joked with the nurses. I take all my cues from the nurses. There are a lot of pretty down-looking people
in the Chemo ward and I feel bad walking in with my baby little Hodkins
Lymphoma when so many of them are considered terminal. But, the nurses are really snarky so I’ll
pretty much joke around until someone tells me to stop. Do they have Chemo detention? I’ll surely be carving my initials on the
“detention desk” if there is. Honestly,
I feel a little more than bad for those folks that are terminal. I see so many of them that are older and it
just looks painful for them. It sounds
stupid, but sometimes I just wish I could take their cancer for a week and they
could have mine. That’d give them a
really cool week to do some fun stuff.
Maybe they could go party, or go for a road trip, smoke some medicinal
Marijuana (I’m so lame I had to spell check that), or even get naked with…well,
you get the point. But, another part of
me (the dark side of Ben) thinks no way, I’ll keep my fun times for
myself. And, then the third part (the
really dark side of Ben) just wants to hook them up with a spray-on tan and a
cool Indiana Jones hat. I love that hat,
but I’m way too much of a dumb guy to pull off that look.
Let’s take a moment to talk about all of you. You guys have all really touched me over the
last few days as the emails and messages come in with your incredible
support. I seriously love all of you
guys. Well, I’m sure there are some of
you out there that I don’t know very well, so maybe I don’t love you….yet. Rest assured, I like you a lot, but we
haven’t yet got to the point that I can share a Pee bottle with you on a cold
mountain in the middle of winter. And
for anyone who is wondering, yes that is the yard stick that I use to measure
whether I love someone or not. It’s sort
of fun to mention measurements and yard sticks when talking about swimsuit
areas. At least it’s funny to me, and
that’s all I really care about. Don’t
worry guys, I don’t require measurements for you to enter my circle of love
(circle of love, I just keep laughing on the inside). And, ladies if you’re feeling left out…yes
they make contraptions that allow you to Pee in bottles too so it’s a fair
comparison. That was a whole section on
Pee. Sweet. I told you….just shy of PG-13. Anyways, you guys have all been great. And I need all of you to continue to be
great. You don’t need to call or message
me every week. You certainly can if you
feel like it, but don’t turn it into this thing where you don’t check in for
like 4 weeks and then you think that I’ll just think you’re a jerk and don’t
care, and then you’ll wait another 4 weeks, and then it’s awkward so you just
decide to not say anything, and then we pass each other on the street and
you’re like hey…dude…you’re still alive and you’re bald…sweet, we should get together and have
dinner or something.....yeah…that’ll be totally awkward and I’m not into it. So, if it’s been 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 3
months…whatever….if you feel like it, just say, “hey”. Lord knows I understand that you’re all busy
and have your own stuff to deal with.
Matter of fact, you probably wouldn’t be my friends if you didn’t have a
whole LOT of your own stuff to deal with. That’s just how we roll. It’s cool.
Also, there are gonna be times when you think I’m a real idiot for stuff
that I’m doing. An example: I still
haven’t cancelled my entry into an April ultra marathon that I’m planning to
do. I’m playing it by ear, I continue to
train for it (although lightly). And, depending on how LOTS of things go over
the next few months, I intend to compete…well, I intend to compete with the
folks that run/walk the race…I’m not delusional about this. The Docs have no problem with this. They tell me that my body will let me know
how much I can push it. Rest assured, I’ve been doing this stuff for a long
time. I know the difference between
feeling tired because I stayed up too late the night before and feeling tired
because I’m dangerously red-lining and ready to crash. Please, don’t worry about that stuff. I’ve got it handled. Some of you are saying, “way to go”, some of
you are saying, “this guy doesn’t have a clue”…you’d both be right. Bottom line…I don’t care. I’m wired to always need a goal to shoot
for. It helps me plan, it helps me
prepare, and it keeps me motivated. If
April comes and I can’t do it, I’ll just do it next year. No biggie.
Yeah, of course goal number one is to beat cancer. However, life doesn’t stop there. Having a reason to get out there and keep
myself moving is important to me. And
don’t tell me I’m dumb and that you think I should stop training….if you know
me, that’ll only make me want to do it more.
So chill, and enjoy the ride.
As always, I’m super impressed and totally blessed (that
sounds like a bumper sticker) that Kacy is so great with all of this. That chick loves me, and I’m not always
certain why she does. I’m a real pain in
the neck. Seriously, for that last 5 or
6 years if I haven’t been training for some stupid marathon, or triathlon, or
training to climb some mountain somewhere, I’ve had my nose in a book reading
about marathons, triathlons, or climbing.
By the way, I truly believe that God had some hand in that. All this stuff that I’ve been into for the
last few years has taught me how to prepare, perform, and suffer for long (very
long, because I’m slow) periods of time.
That’s like cancer training 101, folks.
It has also given Kacy and I the ability to communicate about balance,
commitment, priorities, and teamwork….that’d be marriage 101. Kacy just keeps plugging away right here
beside me. I love her more than anything,
and as she sat there in my Chemo treatment yesterday I couldn’t believe how
lucky I am. We’ll do this together, my
love. Cuz’ that’s the only way we know.
So, that’s about it.
I’ll probably type one of these up every 2 weeks while I’m at my Chemo
treatment. Don’t worry, they won’t all
be this long. Hang in there with us, it’ll
be a great ride.
-Ben
